God is Bigger

I can't believe I just started my my senior year of college. The beginning of the school year can bring out so many stresses and fears in people. This year is no different for me. New professors, new classes, new opportunities, and new things to stress out about. But, this year, I am taking my fears and stresses and placing them in the hands of Jesus.

I came across a quote the other day that put things in a whole new perspective for me...

‎"If you feel overwhelmed by something bigger than you, let the One who is bigger than all things be the power you need in your weakness." -Craig Groeschel

People that know me know that I get stressed extremely easy. Many times throughout the semester I feel so stressed and feel like I cannot handle what is placed before me. Reading this quote just changed things for me though. When I start to feel stressed, I just have to go to the ONE who is bigger than ANYTHING in this world. Because he is bigger than ALL THINGS, he will be the power I need.

The beginning of every semester also brings out fear in me. I feel like fear and stress have close relationships with one another. And if there is one thing God is really trying to get teach me right now, it is on this subject.

I have a devotional that I read called "Jesus Calling." If you don't have it, I highly recommend getting it. I was reading it today and this is what stuck out to me...

"Trust me, and don't be afraid. I want you to view trials as exercises to develop your trust-muscles. You live in the midst of fierce spiritual battles, and fear is one of Satan's favorite weapons."

Wow. My mom was just talking to me a couple of weeks ago about how Satan loves it when we start to feel fearful or stressed. Like Jesus Calling said, it is one of his favorite weapons. Hearing this from my mom and my devotional just made my heart hurt. Every time I feel fearful of something, it is like I am letting Satan win. And that is not okay with me. I have to put my trust in God and put my fears, worries, and stresses in His hands.

I just want to encourage all of y'all this school year---when you start to feel stressed, put those stresses in God's hands. He is big enough to take care of those worries and He is big enough to work things out. If you start to feel fearful, affirm your trust in God and let Satan know that God is in charge of your life. God is with you every single step of the way. He is a big God and He loves you so so much. Let Him be the strength and the power you need this semester. Don't let the fears or stresses get to you.

Let go, let God.

2 years later...

Two years ago today I got to become part of a family I had dreamed of joining one day. This family I joined is the BigStuf family. I gained 15 brothers & sisters. I got to learn from some of the greatest leaders of the church today. I got to become best friends with students passionate about changing the world. I got to be part of something bigger than myself.

I am so thankful for every single thing I got to experience while working at BigStuf.

I am thankful for the friendships I made with the other interns.
I am thankful for the leaders that believed in this generation.
I am thankful for every single person that spoke truth into my life.
I am thankful for the opportunity to go to Kenya.
I am thankful for the opportunity to share my story with campers.
I am thankful for every morning I would wake up exhausted, knowing that God would provide me the energy to get through the day.
I am thankful for every late night conversation I had with someone about how good & faithful God is.
I am thankful to have this experience.
I am thankful to be part of the BigStuf family.

Being part of the BigStuf family for the past 2 years has meant so much to me. Being part of this family means I always have someone to talk to. I always have someone to pray for me. I always have someone to speak truth into my life.

It's so hard for me to explain just how much this family has meant to me. I love the unique friendships we all share. And what I really love is how I am not only friends with people from my year, but also from previous & past years. I love how every year the family just gets bigger & bigger. I love how many of my friends are world changers. I love how they are all so passionate about Jesus.

I have been thinking about the BigStuf fam LOTS today since I met them all exactly 2 years ago. You guys will never know just how much you mean to me---& I miss you all like crazy---Also to those that weren't interns, yall definitely take up a huge place in my heart---yall know who you are.

Much love to each & every one of you. Thankful for the summer we got to do life together. Thankful for the friendships we still share 2 years later...

"From the outside looking in you could never understand it. From the inside looking out you could never explain it."

I can't think of a more appropriate phrase to describe what it is like to be apart of the BigStuf family.

For you interns, some words of wisdom from the song Casey wrote us...

"I don't know where the road will take us when who we are begins to fade. No matter what my heart is saying, my prayers are with you all the way. So hold on to who is never changing, when tomorrow becomes today. And go wherever God is leading, and say a prayer for me along the way."

"Who we are is held in bigger hands, and may He always light your way."

"And even when the tears begin to fall, just close your eyes and memories remind you we're friends for life and that will never change."


Much love,

B-Fly

Philippians 2:14

"Do everything without complaining or arguing." -Philippians 2:14

Yesterday was a stressful day. It seems like every single professor is giving assignments like crazy this week. There are so many things going on--tests, projects, presentations, and homework. Yesterday it all just hit me..the stress of this crazy week. I was complaining so much about every single little thing I had to get done. If you were around me then you heard me complain. All day. For some reason I thought that if I complained about everything enough, then it would eventually just disappear and I wouldn't have to worry about it. Wrong.

After my crazy day I went to Overflow that night. Overflow is an event that college students gather at every week for about an hour or so simply to sing songs of praise to God. I asked that God would open my heart & speak to me & reveal things to me.

Boy. Did he ever get through to me last night.

Why on earth do I complain so much? How is complaining about something bringing glory to God? It's not.

I need to stop complaining about everything. When I complain, it is not glorifying to God in any way. When I complain it is basically me saying "oh hey God...I don't like what you have put in my path today...I don't really appreciate what you are trying to do here." Ouch. That hurts just to even think about. And I know that hurts God when I complain. As God was revealing this all to me, He pointed out other things too. When I am complaining about things in front of people who aren't Christ followers, what do they think? I do not want to be responsible for them thinking that all Christians complain about circumstances. I want them to see someone who relies on God to get them through the day & someone who trusts in Him & someone who does everything possible to bring glory to His name.

It's pretty crazy...I ask God to put me in situations that I won't be able to get through unless He is in the middle of it. And when he gives me those situations, what do I do? I complain about how tough the situation is or how much there is to do instead of rely completely on Him & His strength. God wants me to come to him in every situation and circumstance. He wants to be my strength in my weakness.

I am now choosing to turn my complaining into thankfulness. Not everyone gets the opportunity to go to school, let alone college. I'm choosing to be thankful that I get to go to college. I get to get an education. I get to pursue my dreams by pursuing a degree in Physical Education. I get to learn. I've been given this opportunity and I am not supposed to complain about it.

"Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again-rejoice!" -Philippians 4:4

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever." -Psalm 136:1

Encouragement for the Discouraged

I absolutely love that God knows just what I need at just the right time. I love how perfect His timing always is. I love that when I am feeling down and broken, He brings encouragement in my life when I need it most.

Tonight before church, I was eating dinner with my boyfriend, Stephen, and I was talking to him about my little first graders at KONNECT. For those that don't know, KONNECT is a program that LifeChurch.tv puts on every Wednesday night for elementary aged students to learn more about what it looks like to serve God and sprint after Him and grow closer to Him. I was telling Stephen how I was really feeling discouraged with my little first graders because I felt like nothing was really going on in the group. I felt like me and my co-leaders, Brooklyn & Caitlin, weren't really getting through to them. I just felt like I was trying to pour into their lives and love on them like Jesus, but just felt like nothing was working. Like I said, I was just feeling really discouraged.

I got to KONNECT tonight after dinner and the very first thing I heard was that one of my little boys in my group accepted Christ over the weekend. He prayed the salvation prayer with his dad and was so excited about having Jesus live in his heart! Praise the Lord!! What is also exciting--he has decided to get baptized Easter weekend to show everyone His love for Jesus! I can't tell you how much this warms my heart!! After hearing this I couldn't help but say "Thanks God." This was just the encouragement I needed to hear that we are making a difference in these kids' lives and that they really are listening, even when we think they aren't. After I found this incredible news out, I then found out that another little boy in my group had decided to get baptized also! He said he wanted to get baptized on Easter so he could be an inspiration to someone watching in the audience. Wow God. You are incredible. Those are the only thoughts going through my head right now. I love that these FIRST graders are experiencing God in new ways and are not only following after Him, but they are sprinting after Him.

I love that when I was feeling discouraged tonight, God gave me so much encouragement and joy! I love how He works things together and I love that He knows how things should be timed. I am so incredibly thankful for every single one of my first graders in my KONNECT group & love that God is allowing me to pour into their lives this year.

Just know this--God loves you and He always knows what you need. He will provide encouragement and answers at the most perfect time. If you are trying to make a difference in someone's life and you feel like nothing is happening, just know that you ARE making a difference and they ARE listening. Do what God asks you to do and trust in HIM to do the rest. I am going to sleep tonight with a super thankful heart. The words that keep running through my head are "Thanks God." I am so in awe of Him & His timing. Wow.

‎"When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer." -Psalm 94:19

Believing God for the Impossible

I just can't get over how God is working in me right now. I absolutely love it. He is teaching me new things each day and I can't help but be excited. At LifeChurch.tv a few weeks ago, Pastor Steven Furtick from Elevation Church in North Carolina spoke and shared his heart. His sermons were based off of his book "Sun Stand Still." I bought this book several months ago, but never found the time to read it. After hearing these sermons based on this book, I had to pick it up immediately and begin reading. I have had a hard time putting it down since then. This book is all about believing God for the impossible. It talks about how nothing is impossible for God and we see many things as being impossible, but God only sees things as possible. This book has been challenging me so much lately to believe HIM for the things in my life that I may see as being impossible. I have been praying for someone in my life far from Jesus for what seems like years now. Wait. It doesn't seem like it's been years. It has been years. Years and years of praying. After praying for so many years I began to get discouraged and would wonder if my prayers were even being heard. But these past few weeks God has given me a renewed hope. He has given me the courage to not only ask Him for the impossible, but believe Him for the impossible. I have been encouraged to keep praying for this person, knowing that one day they will find Jesus. I may see this task as being impossible, but in the hands of a Great and Mighty God, it is possible. I can't help but be thankful for the answers that are on the way.

In this book it also talks about having a vision for your life. This book has encouraged me so much for my vision for my life to be completely Christ-centered. I want it to be something that shouts and screams the goodness of God. I want it to be a testament of God's love. I want it to seem impossible for me to accomplish, knowing that it is completely possible with God. I want to have to rely on God 100% knowing that if I don't, I will be in trouble. I want it to be like John Waller's song--"I want to do something so big it's destined to fail without You, Lord." A quote in this book that keeps sticking out to me is this---

"If the size of your vision for your life isn't intimidating to you, there's a good chance it's insulting to God."

Wow. I'm ready to believe big and believe Him for the impossible.

Like I said, I am so excited for the direction God is taking me.

And if you want to read an incredible & challenging book, I recommend "Sun Stand Still" by Steven Furtick. Can't wait to finish it!!

Learning From First Graders

I spend my Wednesday nights in Stillwater working at LifeChurch.tv with the children's ministry. I co-lead a group of 10 first graders at a weekly event called KONNECT. I have been so blessed this year by these incredible first graders. What I thought would be me teaching these kids about Jesus and His love for us has turned into them teaching me about Jesus every single Wednesday night.

As I was leaving KONNECT tonight, I couldn't help but think about all the things my first graders have taught me this year so far. They have taught me so much on what it looks like to love & care for others. They have taught me on what it looks like to work together. They have shown me Jesus' love every single Wednesday night. It doesn't matter what kind of night it is--those kids never fail to teach me something.

And tonight, they did it again. Throughout the evening at KONNECT that kids travel to different rooms where there are different activities waiting for them. At the end of the night my 10 first graders, along with my co-leader, Brooklyn, and myself, meet back up into our "circle group." In circle group we may ask the students questions about the night or lesson, go over the Bible verse, or take prayer requests. Tonight I asked the kids if they had any prayer requests. Every single kid raised their hand. We went around and each kid presented their prayer request to the group. I then asked if any of them would like to say the prayer. I expected there to be one kid that would just say a general prayer for the group and be done with it. Instead, every single one of them decided to pray out loud tonight. I could not have been more proud of these kids.

As I was driving back with my roommate, Cortney, I was telling her about what had happened tonight in circle group. I just could not get over the fact that my whole group of sweet first graders all wanted to pray out loud (I just want you to know how big of a deal this is--usually we only have 1 kid willing to pray out loud). I then began thinking of how they prayed tonight. And the more I thought about it, the more amazed I became. These kids went around in a circle and presented their requests to God. They didn't add any "spiritual fluff" to their prayers--they just got straight to the point. They didn't babble on and on and on. They were sincere to God and extremely genuine. They knew God was hearing their prayers. It was in that moment of driving back from KONNECT that I realized that I need to be a lot more like my first graders when it comes to praying. So many times when I pray I just keep on talking & talking and add "spiritual fluff" to my prayers. I think that if I talk more and sound more spiritual, then maybe God will be more impressed with me and want to answer my prayers. I try to sound like I've got it all together. And when I pray out loud I feel like every word that comes out of my mouth needs to sound perfect. I sometimes get intimidated by people that pray out loud (& sound really good at it!). I then judge myself on how well my prayer sounds. But you know what?! God doesn't care about how well my prayer flows. He doesn't care if it sounds like a perfect little sentence. He cares about my heart. He cares that I come to Him with my requests and present them to him no matter how broken up my sentence might be. He cares that my heart is a heart that chases after Him. And if I am being honest, when I pray, my heart is not always in the right place. I seriously need to learn to pray like my first graders--with a pure heart after HIM with ALL attention focused on HIM. My first graders don't worry about what they sound like when they pray, they just pray. They talk to God and present their requests to Him--plain and simple. I love the challenge they have given me--and they don't even know they've done it. It's time I stop going on & on in my prayers and stop adding fluff to them. It's time to get simple-thank God for what He has done & present my requests to Him. It's time I stop worrying about what I sound like when I pray out loud--because God knows my heart & I don't need to impress Him. It really is simple-it's time to just get real with God.

I am so thankful for my first graders & every single thing they have taught me so far. I can't wait to see what else they teach me between now and May. Thank you God :)

"Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity." -1 Timothy 4:12

"I love the Lord because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy." -Psalm 116:1