Wednesday, January 30, 2013

He Holds You

I was driving to swim practice today while I had my ipod on shuffle. I have music ADD and hardly ever listen to a song all the way through before changing it. Today had been a rough day at school and I was needing some music to relax me before getting to practice. I stopped on a song called "Glorious One." I love this song because it takes me back to my "BigStuf Days." A part of the song that really hit me today was this:

  "God of infinite worth, 
   With hands that carve out the ocean
   You hold the universe, 
   and still You run to the broken."

 How amazing is it that we get to serve a God that is SO big, holds the ENTIRE universe, yet still cares enough to RUN to the broken. He is so big but RUNS to me. He sprints to me. I cannot fully fathom how He can be so big, yet so intimate with each one of us. I cannot wrap my brain around it. But that is what makes Him amazing. He's big. and close. and loving. and all-knowing.

 After I got done listening to that song the next one I listened to was "Safe" by Phil Wickham. Here is the chorus:

  "You will be safe in His arms. You will be safe in His arms. 
   The hands that hold the world are holding your heart.
   This is the promise He made, He will be with you always. 
  When everything is falling apart, you will be safe in His arms." 

Once again I was hit with how big and loving He is. He is big enough to hold the world, but cares so deeply for every single one of us that he chooses to hold our hearts. He chooses to draw near to us and stay near to us. He loves us so so deeply. I wish I could adequately put into words just how amazing this is.

 The song continues:

  "These are the hands that built the mountains, the hands that calm the sea
   These are the arms that hold the heavens, they are holding you and me 
  These are the hands that heal the leper, pulled the lame up to their feet
  These are the arms that were nailed to a cross, to break our chains and set us free"

How amazing is our God? Look at all He does. And look at how near He is to us. God is so so good.

 If you are hurting, broken, feel stressed, whatever, cry out to Jesus. He runs to the broken. He holds your heart. He loves you.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Thoughts From a Student Teacher

I'm getting ready to finish up my student teaching at Yale Elementary. I have very much enjoyed my time there and will be so sad to say goodbye to the students and teachers there on Friday. Going in to student teaching, I thought I would learn so much about how to teach and learn a lot on classroom management. I have learned so much in those areas, but God decided to teach me a few other things along the way.

Yale Elementary is a tiny school, very different from the school I grew up going to. I walked into the school on my first day being so unfamiliar with a small school. Hello, I went to Union my entire life! As weird as it may sound, it took some getting used to at first. But one thing is for sure. I fell in love with that school and all the students there. Those kids have brought so much joy to my life.

After being at Yale for quite some time now, I have really gotten to know some of the students. Being on the teacher side of things now, I have heard some sad stories from these kids. I mean sad. I look at these kids and they seem so young and innocent. But then I hear their stories and realize that some of these kids have just had a hard life and a tough past. They have gone through things in their lives that have made them have to grow up quickly. They have to worry about so many more things than just getting to focus on being a kid. One thing I have noticed about these kids is that school is a safe place for them. It's where they know they will get fed breakfast and lunch. They know they have friends. It's like their worries get to slip away for a little while.

My fiance, Stephen, is also student teaching right now. He is teaching at a small school in Perkins. We constantly share student teaching stories with one another. I was talking to him one day about student teaching and he shared with me what his cooperating teacher told him. She told him that he might be the closest thing to Jesus that those kids ever see. Ever since he shared that with me it has been on my mind. These kids might not get the love of Jesus at home, but when they are at school, I can show them His love. These kids just want to come to school knowing they are loved and accepted. Being in an elementary school, I have learned that these kids really look up to the teachers. When those kids look at me, I want them to see someone happy, someone positive, someone who is different. I want them to see Jesus in me. So what does that look like? Well, as I mentioned before, a lot of these kids have a rough background. I don't know what is going on in all of their lives unless they willingly share it with me. But I have learned that every single student in that school has a story. Every teacher has a story. Everyone has a story. I may not know what their story is or what their background is. I don't know how they are treated at home or if they have friends to play with at home. There are a lot of things I don't know. But the one thing I do know is this: I have the chance to make a positive impact on these kids and be Jesus to them. And you better believe I am going to take this moment and let these kids know they are loved and are cared about. If they have a rough life, I want them to come to school and get to forget about it, even if it's just for a little bit.

I'm leaving you with this-- everyone has a story and everyone has a background. We never know the whole story of what someone is having to deal with or what they are going through. But remember this---whoever the person is, they just need to feel loved. They need to feel Jesus' love. We have the chance to show His love to them. We can take the challenge or not. We can make a difference or not. I'm choosing to take the challenge and make a difference.

You are loved by Him.

Monday, August 22, 2011

God is Bigger

I can't believe I just started my my senior year of college. The beginning of the school year can bring out so many stresses and fears in people. This year is no different for me. New professors, new classes, new opportunities, and new things to stress out about. But, this year, I am taking my fears and stresses and placing them in the hands of Jesus.

I came across a quote the other day that put things in a whole new perspective for me...

"If you feel overwhelmed by something bigger than you, let the One who is bigger than all things be the power you need in your weakness." -Craig Groeschel

People that know me know that I get stressed extremely easy. Many times throughout the semester I feel so stressed and feel like I cannot handle what is placed before me. Reading this quote just changed things for me though. When I start to feel stressed, I just have to go to the ONE who is bigger than ANYTHING in this world. Because he is bigger than ALL THINGS, he will be the power I need.

The beginning of every semester also brings out fear in me. I feel like fear and stress have close relationships with one another. And if there is one thing God is really trying to get teach me right now, it is on this subject.

I have a devotional that I read called "Jesus Calling." If you don't have it, I highly recommend getting it. I was reading it today and this is what stuck out to me...

"Trust me, and don't be afraid. I want you to view trials as exercises to develop your trust-muscles. You live in the midst of fierce spiritual battles, and fear is one of Satan's favorite weapons."

Wow. My mom was just talking to me a couple of weeks ago about how Satan loves it when we start to feel fearful or stressed. Like Jesus Calling said, it is one of his favorite weapons. Hearing this from my mom and my devotional just made my heart hurt. Every time I feel fearful of something, it is like I am letting Satan win. And that is not okay with me. I have to put my trust in God and put my fears, worries, and stresses in His hands.

I just want to encourage all of y'all this school year---when you start to feel stressed, put those stresses in God's hands. He is big enough to take care of those worries and He is big enough to work things out. If you start to feel fearful, affirm your trust in God and let Satan know that God is in charge of your life. God is with you every single step of the way. He is a big God and He loves you so so much. Let Him be the strength and the power you need this semester. Don't let the fears or stresses get to you.

Let go, let God.



Friday, May 13, 2011

2 years later...

Two years ago today I got to become part of a family I had dreamed of joining one day. This family I joined is the BigStuf family. I gained 15 brothers & sisters. I got to learn from some of the greatest leaders of the church today. I got to become best friends with students passionate about changing the world. I got to be part of something bigger than myself.

I am so thankful for every single thing I got to experience while working at BigStuf.

I am thankful for the friendships I made with the other interns.
I am thankful for the leaders that believed in this generation.
I am thankful for every single person that spoke truth into my life.
I am thankful for the opportunity to go to Kenya.
I am thankful for the opportunity to share my story with campers.
I am thankful for every morning I would wake up exhausted, knowing that God would provide me the energy to get through the day.
I am thankful for every late night conversation I had with someone about how good & faithful God is.
I am thankful to have this experience.
I am thankful to be part of the BigStuf family.

Being part of the BigStuf family for the past 2 years has meant so much to me. Being part of this family means I always have someone to talk to. I always have someone to pray for me. I always have someone to speak truth into my life.

It's so hard for me to explain just how much this family has meant to me. I love the unique friendships we all share. And what I really love is how I am not only friends with people from my year, but also from previous & past years. I love how every year the family just gets bigger & bigger. I love how many of my friends are world changers. I love how they are all so passionate about Jesus.

I have been thinking about the BigStuf fam LOTS today since I met them all exactly 2 years ago. You guys will never know just how much you mean to me---& I miss you all like crazy---Also to those that weren't interns, yall definitely take up a huge place in my heart---yall know who you are.

Much love to each & every one of you. Thankful for the summer we got to do life together. Thankful for the friendships we still share 2 years later...

"From the outside looking in you could never understand it. From the inside looking out you could never explain it."

I can't think of a more appropriate phrase to describe what it is like to be apart of the BigStuf family.

For you interns, some words of wisdom from the song Casey wrote us...

"I don't know where the road will take us when who we are begins to fade. No matter what my heart is saying, my prayers are with you all the way. So hold on to who is never changing, when tomorrow becomes today. And go wherever God is leading, and say a prayer for me along the way."

"Who we are is held in bigger hands, and may He always light your way."

"And even when the tears begin to fall, just close your eyes and memories remind you we're friends for life and that will never change."


Much love,

B-Fly

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Philippians 2:14

"Do everything without complaining or arguing." -Philippians 2:14

Yesterday was a stressful day. It seems like every single professor is giving assignments like crazy this week. There are so many things going on--tests, projects, presentations, and homework. Yesterday it all just hit me..the stress of this crazy week. I was complaining so much about every single little thing I had to get done. If you were around me then you heard me complain. All day. For some reason I thought that if I complained about everything enough, then it would eventually just disappear and I wouldn't have to worry about it. Wrong.

After my crazy day I went to Overflow that night. Overflow is an event that college students gather at every week for about an hour or so simply to sing songs of praise to God. I asked that God would open my heart & speak to me & reveal things to me.

Boy. Did he ever get through to me last night.

Why on earth do I complain so much? How is complaining about something bringing glory to God? It's not.

I need to stop complaining about everything. When I complain, it is not glorifying to God in any way. When I complain it is basically me saying "oh hey God...I don't like what you have put in my path today...I don't really appreciate what you are trying to do here." Ouch. That hurts just to even think about. And I know that hurts God when I complain. As God was revealing this all to me, He pointed out other things too. When I am complaining about things in front of people who aren't Christ followers, what do they think? I do not want to be responsible for them thinking that all Christians complain about circumstances. I want them to see someone who relies on God to get them through the day & someone who trusts in Him & someone who does everything possible to bring glory to His name.

It's pretty crazy...I ask God to put me in situations that I won't be able to get through unless He is in the middle of it. And when he gives me those situations, what do I do? I complain about how tough the situation is or how much there is to do instead of rely completely on Him & His strength. God wants me to come to him in every situation and circumstance. He wants to be my strength in my weakness.

I am now choosing to turn my complaining into thankfulness. Not everyone gets the opportunity to go to school, let alone college. I'm choosing to be thankful that I get to go to college. I get to get an education. I get to pursue my dreams by pursuing a degree in Physical Education. I get to learn. I've been given this opportunity and I am not supposed to complain about it.

"Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again-rejoice!" -Philippians 4:4

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever." -Psalm 136:1

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Encouragement for the Discouraged

I absolutely love that God knows just what I need at just the right time. I love how perfect His timing always is. I love that when I am feeling down and broken, He brings encouragement in my life when I need it most.

Tonight before church, I was eating dinner with my boyfriend, Stephen, and I was talking to him about my little first graders at KONNECT. For those that don't know, KONNECT is a program that LifeChurch.tv puts on every Wednesday night for elementary aged students to learn more about what it looks like to serve God and sprint after Him and grow closer to Him. I was telling Stephen how I was really feeling discouraged with my little first graders because I felt like nothing was really going on in the group. I felt like me and my co-leaders, Brooklyn & Caitlin, weren't really getting through to them. I just felt like I was trying to pour into their lives and love on them like Jesus, but just felt like nothing was working. Like I said, I was just feeling really discouraged.

I got to KONNECT tonight after dinner and the very first thing I heard was that one of my little boys in my group accepted Christ over the weekend. He prayed the salvation prayer with his dad and was so excited about having Jesus live in his heart! Praise the Lord!! What is also exciting--he has decided to get baptized Easter weekend to show everyone His love for Jesus! I can't tell you how much this warms my heart!! After hearing this I couldn't help but say "Thanks God." This was just the encouragement I needed to hear that we are making a difference in these kids' lives and that they really are listening, even when we think they aren't. After I found this incredible news out, I then found out that another little boy in my group had decided to get baptized also! He said he wanted to get baptized on Easter so he could be an inspiration to someone watching in the audience. Wow God. You are incredible. Those are the only thoughts going through my head right now. I love that these FIRST graders are experiencing God in new ways and are not only following after Him, but they are sprinting after Him.

I love that when I was feeling discouraged tonight, God gave me so much encouragement and joy! I love how He works things together and I love that He knows how things should be timed. I am so incredibly thankful for every single one of my first graders in my KONNECT group & love that God is allowing me to pour into their lives this year.

Just know this--God loves you and He always knows what you need. He will provide encouragement and answers at the most perfect time. If you are trying to make a difference in someone's life and you feel like nothing is happening, just know that you ARE making a difference and they ARE listening. Do what God asks you to do and trust in HIM to do the rest. I am going to sleep tonight with a super thankful heart. The words that keep running through my head are "Thanks God." I am so in awe of Him & His timing. Wow.

‎"When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer." -Psalm 94:19

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Believing God for the Impossible

I just can't get over how God is working in me right now. I absolutely love it. He is teaching me new things each day and I can't help but be excited. At LifeChurch.tv a few weeks ago, Pastor Steven Furtick from Elevation Church in North Carolina spoke and shared his heart. His sermons were based off of his book "Sun Stand Still." I bought this book several months ago, but never found the time to read it. After hearing these sermons based on this book, I had to pick it up immediately and begin reading. I have had a hard time putting it down since then. This book is all about believing God for the impossible. It talks about how nothing is impossible for God and we see many things as being impossible, but God only sees things as possible. This book has been challenging me so much lately to believe HIM for the things in my life that I may see as being impossible. I have been praying for someone in my life far from Jesus for what seems like years now. Wait. It doesn't seem like it's been years. It has been years. Years and years of praying. After praying for so many years I began to get discouraged and would wonder if my prayers were even being heard. But these past few weeks God has given me a renewed hope. He has given me the courage to not only ask Him for the impossible, but believe Him for the impossible. I have been encouraged to keep praying for this person, knowing that one day they will find Jesus. I may see this task as being impossible, but in the hands of a Great and Mighty God, it is possible. I can't help but be thankful for the answers that are on the way.

In this book it also talks about having a vision for your life. This book has encouraged me so much for my vision for my life to be completely Christ-centered. I want it to be something that shouts and screams the goodness of God. I want it to be a testament of God's love. I want it to seem impossible for me to accomplish, knowing that it is completely possible with God. I want to have to rely on God 100% knowing that if I don't, I will be in trouble. I want it to be like John Waller's song--"I want to do something so big it's destined to fail without You, Lord." A quote in this book that keeps sticking out to me is this---

"If the size of your vision for your life isn't intimidating to you, there's a good chance it's insulting to God."

Wow. I'm ready to believe big and believe Him for the impossible.

Like I said, I am so excited for the direction God is taking me.

And if you want to read an incredible & challenging book, I recommend "Sun Stand Still" by Steven Furtick. Can't wait to finish it!!